Spiels of a Quill

I think over the past 11 days I have spoken about most of what I want to share about endometriosis and my journey with a larger audience. Don’t get me wrong- there is so much more that I am going through and there is so much information about endometriosis that I could share, but that’s probably a better discussion with my endo sisters than the readers of my blog. The past two weeks weren’t easy for me. It was in late February that I made the decision of being openly vulnerable for the first time in my life this Endometriosis Awareness Month. Back then I had little support for my decision to do so, but I was passionate and determined to speak up. It took every ounce of courage I had to be an open book. Anthony Bourdain once famously said: “The journey is part of the experience — an expression of the seriousness of one’s intent. One doesn’t take the A train to Mecca.” So when I look back today, I must say that this has been an incredible two weeks of my journey to being an advocate for

Living with a chronic illness is a lesson in resilience. You learn that you cannot change your path, but you can change how you handle it. You learn that it doesn't get easier, you just get stronger. Fighting a battle with your own body is pretty damn exhausting, but you learn that you can heal without being cured. It makes you a warrior. It makes you resilient. What is resilience? Why is it important? How will you know if you are resilient enough? Resilience is your capacity to withstand adversities in life, and your ability to grow despite life's downturns. Being resilient doesn't mean that you don't experience stress, suffering, and emotional upheaval. Nor does it mean that you learn to always be happy about the changes in your life. Instead, it means that you are capable of handling the challenges and emerging stronger than you were before. People who lack resilience find that they may easily become overwhelmed by difficult experiences in life. They tend to dwell on

Did that one friend of yours cancel plans again complaining of pain or fatigue and make you mad? Did you notice a colleague going on leave for 2-3 consecutive days every month and you think that it is unfair? Did you tell them they don't look sick, or that others have it much worse than them? If you did these or one of a hundred other things, there's a chance that you were unnecessarily hard on someone who could have really used your support. And it would mean the world to them if you were more empathetic of their condition. But it is often hard to understand what endo warriors and others with chronic illnesses are going through if they don't open up. So here are some of the thoughts that go through the mind of this endo warrior, with the hope that someone might find it useful: 1. I am sorry for canceling... again We finally put together a plan to meet after months! I am as excited as you are! But I want you to know that there's a chance I might wake up that morning wit

The first step towards change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. I have been aware of my condition since 2019 when I got my endometriosis diagnosis. But until recently, I had been in denial. But like they say, denial is the worst kind of lie because it is a lie you tell yourself. As humans, we tend to go into denial almost every time we are put in a difficult situation because it acts as a shock absorber for our souls. But we fail to remember that the protection is temporary and that we need to learn to cope with reality at some point. Denial is a very dangerous drug because in the long term it makes you a bitter, miserable person who is at odds with themselves and envies others who get to lead a different life. And that is why the journey from denial to acceptance is an important one. The path to acceptance is not easy. Like every other process, it takes time. It takes patience. It takes everything you have got. But it is still a path worth traveling. When diagnosed with a c

Today, I want to talk about the second chronic illness that I was diagnosed with following my MRI - Adenomyosis . Another weird and scary term? Adenomyosis is a chronic condition in which the endometrium (uterine lining) is found in the muscular wall of the uterus.  It often co-exists with endometriosis, thereby giving it the nickname of being ' endo's ugly twin sister' . Some also refer to adenomyosis as  'endometriosis inside the uterine muscle'.  While in most cases it is difficult to diagnose this condition with ultrasounds and MRIs, it is not an impossible task for an expert eye. The symptoms of adenomyosis almost always overlap with those of endometriosis - heavy abnormal bleeding, painful periods, spotting, pelvic pain, and infertility. The one known treatment option out there for adenomyosis is hysterectomy - the removal of the uterus. But this clearly isn't a suitable option for most women, especially ones that choose to be conservative with the intent

PCOS is one of the most common hormonal disorders in women with an incidence of 6-8%.  It is not clear what causes this condition. PCOS is characterized by the following features: 1. Menstrual abnormalities:  Women with PCOS will initially have  infrequent or absent periods but they may eventually develop heavy bleeding. 2. Excessive hair growth or acne:  This is also referred to as hyperandrogenism . 3. Polycystic ovaries:  An ovary  with multiple small cysts, ranging from 0.2 to 0.9 cm in diameter, found on ultrasound  examination. 4. Obesity and metabolic disorder:  PCOS can be associated with diabetes, high blood  pressure, and elevated cholesterol and triglyceride levels. It can also be associated with  insulin resistance. When there is insulin resistance, the body produces more insulin because  the body does not respond to the normal amount of insulin that is produced and this increased  production of insulin can add to the excessive hair growth and acne discussed above. If a wom